Family from a distance

I have always lived away from the majority of my extended family. I grew up with a few cousins, but as the years passed, one-by-one, they moved away. As their visits began to stretch further and further apart, my extended family started to become a distant memory.




After a couple of visits as a young child, my next visit back in Hong Kong was the summer after my first year of university. I remember sitting in my aunt's house, at a loss of how to greet everyone. I didn't know their relation to me - in fact, I wasn't even sure how many cousins I had.

There is an odd feeling being around virtual strangers, with the knowledge you are connected by a bond that supposedly transcends the usual boundaries. Sitting around the dinner table at a restaurant, I realized I knew next to nothing about most of these people.



This time, there was something about going back to my cousin's apartment that felt like home. I found my way to back up like an old memory, and when I walked in, we all just picked up where we left off. I walked into the room I knew would be reserved for me, and my cousin left me some local currency so I could grab a bite to eat.





There are two main feelings I have towards my extended family. Asides from the ones that lived in Canada when I was younger, they feel little more than distant family friends. Through our parents, bits and pieces of major life happenings are relayed back and forth - that is the extent of our communication.

With the cousins that were around for my childhood, there is an innate sense of belonging that picks up when we meet again. There are small tidbits about our lives and personalities that we know from our shared memories, and we meet at a comfortable midway point. When four generations were gathered around the table, there was a peaceful feeling that swept around me. I felt so comfortable, around people whom I've spent a few years of my childhood with and some I had met only a couple of times. Every piece seemed to fall in place; ah, this is what being family feels like. An empty spot I had been unaware of, that let in feelings of wistfulness during holidays, slowly being filled.