A refresher on travelling

here we are 

chasing the sunset 

Insurance

I stepped away from a lot of doing for a time; a pause longer than I had ever anticipated. When I slowly stepped back in, there weren't many changes in my life, and the pandemic only served to continue that slow pace. Recently, there was a ramp up to unexpected levels that was not unwelcome, but definitely served to test my ability to adapt. 

No vacancy

 I don't know how well I can articulate my thoughts at the moment as my brain feels frazzled. Writing down words is a little more difficult than usual.

Impermanence

When I first used a permanent marker, I asked my mom what the word meant. She said to be careful because the marker wouldn't come off, thus the reason for the name. The thought scared me, and when using it once, a smidge of ink stuck to my finger. Terrified, I told my mom, only to be told that it would come off skin within a day. 

Redemption in Taejongdae, return to Centum City

On my last visit to Busan, I made the mistake of being too ambitious and ended up with a bit of regret.

Singular

I want to do so much

But I'm afraid

that my tries worsen the trauma

that my cries will strike a nerve

that my effort is burdensome

Navigating this world that has been built by the hands and thoughts of so many

Where is there room for me to carve out my place?

To lay the foundation in place where we can all be happy

Maybe my attempts are futile

But they stay more useless the more they exist only in my head

Off to Gyeongju & Daegu

Another early morning train ride was scheduled to take us to the nearby city of Gyeongju. 

You are the cause of my Euphorbia~

I don't quite remember how it started, but I've long held a fascination for cacti. It might have stemmed from a book from my childhood, set in Arizona. Though I had never seen one (and didn't have the ability to Google), I dreamt of the Saguaro, and always wished to have my own little version.

My first cactus was a gift, and though it didn't have the waving arms of the saguaros of my dreams, I was happy to finally have my very own cactus. Sadly, I didn't have any ability to care for one, and it died within a couple of years. In some unnamed irony, it suffered from uneven care and rotted from within, its demise unable to be stopped.

Several more cacti and cacti deaths later, I stumbled across a certain saguaro-shaped plant. Not a cacti, but an Euphorbia, a very large genus that encompasses plants that range from very un-cacti in appearance to my new favourite baby.

Crybaby, you did well

I seek validation from the world. In this society, I suppose we all do, in its many different forms. Though I can live and function without this validation, the lack of it slowly eats at me and rips my insides to shreds as I try and reason with myself that I am worthy no matter what...

Colourless

I first realized that my home was a dark place in high school. My friends and I had embarked on an ambitious filming project, mostly due to my prodding and obsession with a certain "banjun" reverse drama. We rewrote the scripts to make it a double reverse drama, and had a lot of fun making the cheesiest, corniest, hammiest interpretation possible. I still have those scripts, though sadly not the taped scenes.