In the shade

2019.10.23 23:22

The shade of a tree offers a lot of comfort. Not one to enjoy the spotlight, I enjoyed retreating to the shadows to recharge and cool down before going out into the world again. The comforting darkness, where I am free to be who I want to be, where the unseen judgments of others cannot inhibit me. Perhaps, I spent a little too much time here, in the hopes of recharging, that I forgot how to step away.

For far longer than I think sustainable, I had been walking among the shadows. Flitting from the shade of one tree to another, until I finally found a forest that would offer me the comfort of the darkness I had grown used to seeking. Occasionally, when I came upon a clearing, I would peek through the trees and observe the outside world, before promptly retreating back to the comfort of my new home.

From the outside, it may not have been apparent that I was so deep in the forest. On the occasional instances I came out into the clearing, a few friends would notice I was running the danger of getting lost in the depths of the woods, and after giving it a thought, I would always return afterwards.

It wasn't that I no longer loved the sun. I wished for the day when I would crave the warm glow of sunshine once again, and felt happy to see my friends basking in the golden light. They seemed to be enjoying the warmth, perhaps through the haze, my path seemed brighter to them than to myself.

I knew it wasn't ideal to stay here for too long

I cannot say I am firmly on the other side, but I managed to push myself back into the sun's rays from time to time, and the warmth of a kind word, an engaging stranger, and the rediscovery of the beauty of the world warmed me enough to venture back outdoors.