self inflicted sleep deprivation
semi permanent half awake state
that's me
I never admitted to myself that I might suffer from insomnia. In high school, I'd read articles about it or seen my friends post late night messages lamenting their inability to fall asleep. For me, it was easy. I would stay on my computer until the wee hours of the morning, and only when my eyes had trouble staying open, would I stumble up to my bedroom and pass out until it was time for class. Fun fact: people always told me I looked tired in high school.
University didn't inflict any major changes on my sleeping patterns; as a matter of fact, it probably got worse in first year. After being shocked into taking school more seriously, I would tire myself out throughout the day and sleep around the midnight to 1am mark. For some reason, I'm simultaneously a night owl and an early riser, and I would wake up at 6 or 7 in the morning and go about my day. I would not nap during the day or I knew I would not be able to sleep at night.
Fast forward to life post graduating - despite my best intentions, I would only sleep early when starting a new job, and then slowly my bedtime would slip later and later until I was only functioning with roughly 5-6 hours of sleep.
Now, I find it really hard to sleep if I'm not thoroughly exhausted and often find myself watching videos, scrolling through news articles, or flipping through a book until I'm so sleepy I pass out.
My friends have suggested melatonin or other sleep aids, but I haven't yet lost hope that my insomnia cures itself. Let's give it another few months...
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